Confessions of a Working Mom

Like most mommies, I wear different hats and take on different roles sometimes simultaneously.  I work as an optometrist for 5 days a week and I'm a mommy to a three year old. My husband and son are bff's at this stage of the game, and I'm enjoying every minute of it. I read parenting magazines and websites for advice and shamelessly Google the other stuff I do not know.   My go to websites are webmd and babycenter.com and of course Mamapedia.com. I unashamedly use technology to help me in my day to day dealings with my three year old toddler. At the ripe old age of two he developed an attachment to my iPhone (and I was not in any way a tech junkie - I held on to my "flip phone" for years before succumbing to the "free" smartphone offer from my cell phone company). He could swipe and open apps with more ease than his grandparents. He watches nursery rhymes on Youtube and plays with the calculator app (he loves to see numbers) and other kiddie apps I've uploaded.  I've read somewhere that it's harmful to expose your child to media at this age but frankly I think he learned how to count to 100 and beyond, forwards and backwards, and even sometimes in Spanish, via the Youtube songs he watches. This also goes for the "phonics songs" he sings featuring the alphabet and words. As his fourth birthday looms in February I look back on the adventures I've had as a new mommy. Here are my confessions (don't judge!)

1. My baby became fascinated with my iPhone so I purchased an iPod touch. He has his favorite nursery rhymes on Youtube and plays on the calculator.
2. He loves to look at pictures and videos of himself on our phones. "That's the baby!"
3. He still asks for "Mommy's phone" and I caught him once talking to Siri: "Text mama!"
4. "Balloon Baby School", "Phone4Kids","Tiny Piano" and "Shapes" take up a lot of memory on my iPhone.
5. My baby also knows how to get his grandparents to let him play with their iPad mini.
6. He turns off the TV while I'm watching Cooking Channel and we argue. "Mama wants to watch TV!" "Off the TV!"
7. He started learning numbers early on via our condo elevator buttons. Also "L is for Lobby and R is for Roof!" He knows how many floors are in our condo, and how many floors are in our parking garage.
8. His bedtime is really late (10:30 pm CST on an average day) because I pick him up from my in laws' house after work (usually past 7:30 pm) and arrive home around 8:30 pm. He takes two hours to play, eat a second dinner, and then calm down for the night. Most kids I know sleep around 8 pm.
9. My "me time" is usually after the baby and the husband are snoring safely in bed, usually past 11 pm. The "me time" is fraught with decisions: shower? dinner? pee? poo? sleep? All at once? It's a daily battle.
10. He went through a phase where he wanted to wear the same shirt two days in a row. I even tried to switch duplicate shirts (a clean one for a dirty one) but he caught on. Epic fail!
11. I'm still comfort-nursing him to sleep most days then transferring him to his toddler bed. When he wakes in the middle of the night I pick him up and put him in the bed between my husband and me.
12. Bath time is love/hate at this stage. If he's in a good mood he will go in the bath enthusiastically. Other days require bribery/coaxing/wrestling and it's not pretty. Sometimes I wipe him down with a washcloth if I'm too tired to wrestle.
13. At an early age he recognizes the following logos as we drive past: Dunkin Donuts, Subway, McDonalds.
14. I used to want to wean him from nursing and now I dread when he will eventually stop asking for "dudu."
15. Potty training has been a challenge. I have to catch him with his "poo face" and hustle him to his potty and/or the toilet to go poo. Bribery is involved: "If you make 40 poos, you get a big giant..." "Balloon!" "Yes!"
16. I let him play with the buttons and lights in my office, especially the buttons that make the exam chair go up and down. Wheee! 
17. I dread him growing up and getting a girlfriend, moving out, learning to drive, etc. He won't need mommy anymore!
18. He knows the way going to: 1) grandma's house 2) the other grandma's house 3) playschool even while riding rear-facing in the car seat. So when he's crying about not wanting to go to school I can't even trick him.
19. He's fallen off our bed a few times. Thank goodness no real harm done! (Fingers crossed)
20. I'm a little overanxious if his temperature is above 98.6 on the Exergen thermometer. 99 degrees? Break out the Tylenol!!
21. A busy day at the office is sometimes easier than a full day of watching my energetic toddler.
22. There could be no "adult" food in my fridge but plenty of: oatmeal, pasta, corn, noodles, and apple sauce.
23. He usually eats his meals while playing with his iPhone/iPod. It keeps him seated longer than just a meal by itself. Restaurants with free Wifi rock!
24. I discovered Triple Cream cured his eczema so I smear it on everything!
25. I yearn for peanut butter. And pad thai. And Reese's peanut butter cups. My home is a peanut free zone due to baby's  peanut allergy.
26. Sometimes I have the feeling that I really don't know what the heck I'm doing.
27. After a long day watching my toddler, bathing him, feeding him, making him nap, and cleaning up after him, he runs to the front door to greet my husband: "I love you daddy! I miss you daddy!"
28. I cuddle him a little longer than necessary after he falls asleep and needs to be transferred to the toddler bed.
29. Waking up to toddler hugs and kisses is the best feeling in the world.
30. His picture is my Facebook profile picture. 
31. It took 3+ years for me to feel physically and emotionally ready to have another. A mixture of excitement, anxiety, and hope. Bring it on!

Mama Peer Pressure and What's Best for You and Baby

When I was pregnant, it seemed like everyone and their mama had an opinion about every topic you can think of on how to care for a baby. I told myself I would listen to fellow moms' advice carefully and learn from their experience. Easier said than done! If I followed the "average" new mom's timeline, I would have already stopped breastfeeding at or around 6-12 months, swaddled my baby until he was 3 months old, fed him solids at six months and table food at 12 months, and already have moved from our 580 square foot condo to a single family home by the time my baby started cruising furniture. I would have purchased a mini-van and signed up my baby for the elite day care in our neighborhood (which costs more per month than our mortgage or my student loan from getting a doctorate degree!) I did none of the above and a

m very hap

py my husband and I stuck with our decisions to ignore the peer pressure and instead do what's best for our baby and our family.

A lot of pressure is put on new moms to follow other moms' advice. To this I say, listen with a grain of salt, but do what is best for YOUR child and YOUR family. When Michael was born in February of 2010, he was around two weeks early. Our condo was not baby-ready and I didn't have time or energy to read beyond the "what to expect in labor" chapter of the three pregnancy books on my bookshelf. The first three months went by in a blur, with sleep deprivation and breastfeeding taking its toll on me along with post-partum depression. Baby Michael refused to sleep flat on his back. He would wake up 10 minutes after I rocked and fed him to sleep, and this cycle would go EVERY TWO HOURS all ni

ght long. In desperation I took to placing him in the inclined Fisher Price Newborn Rock 'N Play Sleeper overnight in

stead of the bas

sinet - something most moms have never even heard of. What a lifesaver! Baby slept three hours straight for the first night, and continued to 4-5 hours per stretch until he outgrew the rocker at seven months. I now give the sleeper as a present to friends who are new moms although it's not normally on their baby registry or even something they've seen before; they usually thank me for giving them a few more hours of sleep a night!

My baby also had difficulty adjusting to the texture of solid foods. He would gag and spit out Cheerios at age 8 months whereas his peers were happily chewing on

them without a problem. Our pediatrician recommended "no more Gerber baby jars" at twelve months but this turned out to be a problem for my little one; he had trouble swallowing chunky food. So my mother-in-law started pureeing organic veggies, fruits, and meat for baby so he can transition to table food more easily. My baby has never been too interested in mealtimes; we had to constantly chase him around with a spoon or feed him while he played. This went against "doctor's suggestions" but we did what we had to do to get him to eat. He now eats better without gagging and I am glad we didn't race to feed him table food when he wasn't ready.

Most of my friends who were moms also urged me to find a house to move into for the baby's sake, e.g. you need more room for the baby to walk around in and for all his stuff. My husband and I debated and searched for a new house but weren't in love with any of the houses that we had seen. So we decided to stay put for a while, rearrange the condo, upgrade to a "big boy crib" to replace the Graco Travel Lite Crib (Baby still sleeps in it comfortably), and made the living room baby-friendly with soft foam puzzle mats we saw at the neighborhood daycare. I did research on the best baby gear for small apartments (everythin

g had to be lightweight, portable, foldable, multi-function and affordable) and only p

urchased what would comfortably fit into our condo. We still use his Graco Infant Car Seat Frame Stroller to this day.

When my 1996 Honda Civic finally gave up and died, we didn't buy a mini van to replace it. The mini van would have been out of our price range and the gas mileage would not have been practical for the 200+ miles/week commute I normally drive. So we did our research and purchased a 2009 Honda Fit hatchback with folding rear seats and awesome miles-per-gallon capability (35 city/40 hwy). It's been one of our best purchases so far since we had our baby.

When to start weaning has always been a touchy topic for moms. I never imagined I would still be breastfeeding at 16 months but my little one shows no signs of wanting to stop. I still pump twice at work even though coworkers and colleagues may show surprise or disapproval; I ignore this because I know what is best for myself and my baby. Although he is eating more solids and transitioning into table foods, we both cherish our bonding time and he is always more calm and happy after a feeding, and

sleeps really well after. I am blessed that my little one has yet to have a serious illness beyond a cold virus or fever from teething; I truly believe that breastfeeding has made him more healthy and less susceptible to getting sick.

If you're a new mommy and are used to other moms pressuring you to do what THEY did for their children, remember that YOU know your baby best. Make decisions based on what is best for you and your family, and if some well-meaning relative, friend, or stranger gives you unsolicited advice, smile, thank them, and go along your merry way. Your baby will thank you for it.

How to Create Your Online Business Website for Free or Very Cheap!

So here it is in a nutshell.... who am I? My name is Dr. Sarah Manongdo-Joya, and I am the webmaster of http://www.budgetweddingcenterpieces.com, http://www.saveafortuneonyourwedding.com, http://www.isavedafortuneonmywedding.com, and http://www.sarahjoya.com . Hmm, see a pattern here? It all started out when I co-authored the book "How to Buy Everything for Your Wedding on eBay ... and Save a Fortune!" during my own wedding planning in 2004.

After saving TONS of money by shopping eBay for my wedding, I kinda got sucked into the online wedding biz - it was so addicting! Now I run four websites, three of which make me money even in my sleep. My book continues to sell on amazon.com and has gotten tons of media coverage. I've appeared on live TV, and been interviewed on magazines and newspapers across the country. I've been asked before by friends and family how I got started with my website, so I will try to summarize it very easily here. And, aside from advertising, most of this stuff is FREE and can be done by anybody! I make great money as a doctor of optometry, but I love making money online too!

Your Product:

1. Know what you are good at or what you are passionate about. For example, do you like books? Sell books! Do you like weddings? Sell wedding stuff! Do you like to write? Write and sell your own e-books! I wrote my first e-book after visiting http://www.silentsalesmachine.com. That first e-book became my first published book by publisher McGraw-Hill!




2. Sell something you believe in, if it's something you make yourself, or something you use yourself. It can be an actual product (flowers, books, CD's), or a service (like petsitting, web design, wedding videography or photography, embroidery, etc).
   




3. If you are selling a product, find a good wholesaler who is willing to work with you: sending you samples of product, or even drop-shipping the product. Drop shipping means you take the order from the customer, take your cut, and place your order with the supplier, who ships the product IN YOUR NAME.
   




4. If you are purchasing and storing your product at home, dedicate a room or corner for your home business (for tax purposes). More on this later.




5. Customer testimonials drive business. Ask customers nicely for testimonials (text or photos or both) to help advertise your product.

How to Create Your Own Store Website (for almost free) :

1. Select a domain name that is catchy, not too long, and relevant to your business. For example, http://www.budgetweddingcenterpieces.com




2. Check availability for your website name on a website like http://www.godaddy.com/ or http://www.yahoo.com/. Minimal annual fees run around $10/year. Don't pay more than that! You will also get one free professional sounding email address, like sales@budgetweddingcenterpieces.com instead of yourname@hotmail.com .




3. You can set up this free email account to carbon copy to your primary email address so you won't miss out on any email inquries from potential customers.




4. You can also set up an automatic reply e.g. "Thank you for your email inquiry. We will respond to your message shortly. Please visit our website for more information." This feature is also helpful when you are away on vacation since you can set a vacation reply.




5. No experience in making a website? Sign up for a free hosting service like Google Sites http://sites.google.com/ where you can use pre-made templates. If you can type, you can make a website! You can also upload images on Google Sites. I use Google Sites because my website is more visible on the Google search engine, and there are no bothersome ads on your final page.
   




6. Set up your GoDaddy.com domain name so it will display your Google Sites webpage. This is called "domain masking" and "domain forwarding." So if someone types http://www.budgetweddingcenterpieces.com/ on their browser, my webpage pops up, and the header still says budgetweddingcenterpieces.com instead of sarah.manongdo.googlepages.com/budgetweddingcenterpieces.com (quite a mouthful!)




7. Sign up for a free PayPal account at http://www.paypal.com . PayPal offers tools such as payment buttons and shopping cart buttons, allowing you to accept secure online payments from anybody with an email address.




8. Sign up for a free StatCounter account at http://www.statcounter.com . There is a free tutorial on how to generate html code to provide you with a counter to place on your website. This counter will enable you to track WHERE your customers come from, how LONG they visited your website, and how OFTEN they return.




9. Sign up for a free account at http://www.123contactform.com . You can generate html to make a professional looking "Contact Us" form that you can design very easily.
   

Advertising your Website for Free or Very Cheap:

1. Sign up for a free account at http://www.vistaprint.com/, where you can easily get 250 business cards, 100 postcards, etc for FREE. Pay minimal shipping and handling. Give these away to friends, family, and local businesses.
   




2. Make a free Facebook page on http://www.facebook.com/ solely for your business. Here is mine as an example: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Chicago/BudgetWeddingCenterpiecescom/108723057337




3. Consider signing up for Google AdWords campaign at http://adwords.google.com/ - only if you can afford around $50 a month for advertising.




4. Place your product or service on http://www.ebay.com/. You can advertise your website indirectly by emailing customers who purchase, or customers who contact you with questions. You can even get repeat customers this way! Plus when you get positive feedback, it boosts the image of you as a business entity.




5. Make a short video and post it for free on http://www.youtube.com/ . Tag your video with relevant buzz words for your business. Embed your youtube video onto your main website.
   

Have Fun and Get at It! Email me at sarah@sarahjoya.com for questions!